Monday, July 11, 2005

Metallica


If an eccentric millionaire who collects PEZ dispensers and Vietnamese whores were to pay me the sum of two million dollars to summarize Metallica's 20+ year career in one sentence, after a two and a half seconds deliberation I'd say "How to take a shit on your fan base and get away with it". And get the two million dollars.

And that's not just because I have the maturity of a new-born baby and like to include the word "shit" in every sentence that comes out of my mouth on the grounds that "it is funny". The reason of my opinion is the lack of respect the band has been showing.

Let's go back in time to the year of our Lord 1998. Lots of shit was happening back then, none of which will be discussed in this article. What I'm talking about was the polemic Metallica vs Napster lawsuit. Or, if you want to be smart and read between the lines so you can brag to your friends, Lars Ulrich vs Metallica fans.

Lars sued Napster for allowing their fans to download their songs for free. If you stop and consider what that actually means, it'll be easy to picture James Hetfield looking between the couch cushions for pennies as he's probably doing as we speak. Or read. Or write, in my case. Ah, screw it.

Anyway.

My beef with Metallica is because anyone who knows how the music industry works understand that album sales is NOT the major source of revenue for the artists. Concerts, tours, contracts and merch is. Album sales correspond to only 3% of their income.

And who's really losing money with free mp3s?

You got that right. Labels. Hetfield won't have to sell his mansion because kids are downloading their songs for free.

But HEY, maybe they really need that 3%. I hear Ulrich only have eight Ferraris, all of which over six months old! Nobody needs money like he does. How can we rob him of that 3% he makes off us?!

And yet, they wanna make us believe we're he greedy ones, simply for trying to save 25 bucks on a CD that we don't even know if it's any good. The funny thing is, oh, right, these guys have money coming out of their asses. You and I and everyone we know combined wouldn't be able to spend that money in our lifetimes.

If that's not enough to make you want to burn Metallica CDs and maybe Lars Ulrich, hold on to your torches and pitchforks, that's not all.

We all listened to, hated and bashed on Metallica's latest train-wreck of an album, St. Anger. While many absolutely despised the new sound the band introduced and believe it to be the combined efforts of Satan and all forces of Hell, I for one didn't think their new songs were that bad. Honestly, I just preferred when System of a Down played them.

As I said, the shittyness of the album isn't what's being discussed, but whether, why the hell did the band simply abandoned the style that made them loved world wide? Why take on new metal, a saturated and unoriginal market?

Because it makes MONEY, fellows. With St. Anger, Metallica took a proverbial shit on their fan base (once again!), shattering their expectations of the new album, kicking their dogs and sleeping with their girlfriends. It's as if the band had said "Huh, I don't care if this is neither our sound nor what you the fans expected from us, but you know, this makes money so..."

Yeah. Meanwhile they want us to believe that trying to save 25 bucks is being greedy and destroying the music.

Changing your style to make money apparently isn't.

James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and anyone associated with both the demise of the once music-loving band and the infamous Napster lawsuit should converge to the nearest intersection and wait to be hit by a garbage truck.

That is, when they're done hunting for pennies between the pillows of their couches.

8 Comments:

At 8:59 PM, Blogger Empress_Aislygn said...

*snaps fingers* everyone stand and take heed... Izzy-Sensei speaks!
*Bows to Izzy* Hwooooo! Very good, mastah! *bows again*
~A~

 
At 5:37 AM, Anonymous Bruno Nobre said...

Yeah man, sure they wanna make money. I mean, ok, so what if they re rich and want more...Everyone would do the same!!! It happens all the time, u re rich? You wanna get richer!!!Its human nature. And , yes, this new album sucks donkey balls. But when u say that it is New Metal... I dont know man, it doesnt really sound like the genre itself...I dunno, I may be wrong. The thing is, when you like a band and u know how much their music has touched you in some way, all you do is go along with them, cause u somehow developed some kind of respect for them. I mean, fuck, so what Lars dont want to be downloaded. We still can get the songs anyways, my Metallica cd is burned dude. I searched and organized the songs. I think you made yr point(a good one by the way) but we should be more focused on other matters.....music perhaps? ANyways, U rock man!!! U little faggot, I miss you man. I miss the band and all of u guys. Big hug to yr mom, dad,bro,sisand Becca. Hope we meet again soon.

PEACE OUT!!!!

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger MeL said...

Awesome Izzy. You always have the awesome Sarcastic humor. I love it. It's just so hilarious. Well, I don't really fit in with this subject. I've never really like Metallic honestly. I only own one of their albums, and that's "Ride the Lightning" I don't even like it. lol. But yea, keep up the humour dude!! (Y)

 
At 12:01 PM, Anonymous M (Zombie Core off of the DMB!) said...

I think you're neat.

 
At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Izzy Nobre said...

Thanks mate ;)

 
At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Cass said...

Izzy Izzy Izzy...what shall you write about next..how about your canadian friends!!!!!!!! I like that idea! lol..anyways nice articles man!! Keep it up..I like reading english better then scanning the protugese one and understanding nothing!..Later Cass!

 
At 9:19 PM, Anonymous pulpfiction said...

Oh no, deja vu.

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger pureevilmatt said...

every single year since it's release, metallica has made more NET PROFIT off of sales of 'the black album' than they have made GROSS SALES off of the st. anger album. and i'll bet that this year, and every year until the end of time, black album will sell more copies too.

these sales of the black album for metallica are almost 100% profit, as they've already paid their debts back to the record companies. the direct to artist royalties on "old music" are incredibly high for most successful artists, not just for metallica.

 

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