Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I can't think of a topic

Hello, masturbating losers that are the Internet users! And yes, I can rhyme! How was your day?

Whatever, I don't really care that much. I will assume you wanna hear about my day, then. You do? Ok.

My day was pretty shitty. I went to some ice cream joint and ask for whatever piece of shit they had on their manu that didn't exceeded my tight budget of $1.76. The employee/bitch responded by laughing at me, and I almost prayed to God that he'll just stop being a jerk and use his awesome x-men powers to fast-forward time so it's already THE FUTURE and we can all have body implants that shoot lasers directly into the eyes of people who diss my ice cream budget.

...

That wasn't all, though! Today I got to witness cops chasing some dude who beat up some other dude over the matter of stuff AND an almost-collision. Apparently some chick hasn't yet cracked the complicated color code of the average traffic lights and went straight through a red one on a busy intersection. Cars halted, horns blared, people screamed and I let out a fart that went totally unnoticed, until I decided to write about it and tell the whole world. After being accused by every person within a 5 mile radius of being a woman of the streets and performing sex acts for money (actually they weren't that kind and used alternative wording), the dumb broad put the pedal to the metal and got the hell out of the scene faster than you can say ":)".

...

Speaking of cars, remember my rant about socially-challenged pussies that participate in those dreadful drive-by yellings? Well, someone decided to step up to the plate and take the blame!




Well actually the guy didn't step up to any plate, not even those small ones mommy used to tell me not to throw at the dog but I threw them anyways and then blame my smaller brother. The person posted an anonymous comment on a website, which is about as brave as crying in terror upon the sight of butterflies.

I guess it demanded an answer nonetheless.

And that's all for today, folks. Join in tomorrow when I'll explain the greatest mysteries that concern our minds when we're not busy playing solitaire - the origin of the Universe, the meaning of Life and just how the fuck people can think replacing "?" on MSN with a animated GIF is fashionable.

Try not to die till then. Izzy, over and out.

12 Comments:

At 10:15 PM, Anonymous Jebby said...

heheh u always come back with "witty" remarks lmao. Jebbica

 
At 7:15 AM, Anonymous bownser said...

seus posts aqui são mais legais que no HBD, imagino que aqui você tenha uma liberdade maior no que postar o.O

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger MeL said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger MeL said...

I always enjoy your humour, and you indeed know that by now. I love these "comebacks" you come up with. You are indeed a funny fella, and you do have the intelligence to back up your points. Keep it up dude.
~*~SmeLLy MeLLy~*~

 
At 10:08 PM, Anonymous Bebba said...

AHAHAHALKJDKJASD
I was with him when during these events and I experienced something worse then a drive-by yelling. Wanna know what it was? This guy was in the passenger seat of a truch and as they stopped at the red light where Izzy and I proceeded to cross the road, he licked his finger and wiggled his tush:P Unfortunately, Izzy missed it :(

 
At 12:34 AM, Anonymous Messiah said...

I am not masturbating, 'cause I had my right hand cut off, and it's pretty dificult to masturbate with left one.

Just kidding.


You know, it's because of people like this stupid employee that I always carry my gun fully loaded. You never know when someone will laugh at you.

 
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